I had a different blog post related to couchsurfing planned for today and my day was looking up as I fondly recalled the great couchsurfing experiences I've had to date.
Until I opened an email alerting me to a new post on the South African Couchsurfing group. It was a post about safety.
I'm sure everyone has had bad couchsurfing experiences. My worse so far has been the guy with really strong body odour. It's less than nothing compared this woman's experience:
Chinese tourist 'raped' after being offered free bed for the night from man on 'couchsurfing' website
This is such sad news. Utterly heart breaking and I'm crying as I write this. Why must there always be people who ruin great things for others?
I have been extremely optimistic about the world as of late. I'm trying to tell myself that I should do everything in my power to keep it so. But I'm not sure I have the power to keep my spirits up.
EDIT: The meds have worn off and I'm less emotional and vulnerable than I was this morning. This could've happened anywhere, anytime, with anyone. Couchsurfer or not. The woman could have stayed with someone she knew well, or someone a friend she trusts recommended and she still could have been raped. I guess sometimes I just want the world to be too perfect even though I know it is not and can never be. Try explaining that. Reading about this took away the perfectness that I thought was couchsurfing but I should have known better, shouldn't I? Or I did but conveniently ignored it. I'll admit that it was less about a woman being violated than my 'perfect' world being shattered. But not by much.
I guess the attitude around this will be: stupid woman staying with a stranger. That is completely unfair. This is an isolated incident and will hopefully stay that way. I'm not going to let one reprehensible act ruin what has been up to now, and can continue being, a great experience for me. I hope the other good couchsurfers out there feel the same.
I have to know ... what is being done to the accused?
ReplyDeleteOkay just read the link (news article)and now I'm completely and utterly freaked out.
ReplyDeleteSo as a single woman would you ovenight on a strange man's couch, really would you? This is why Couchsurfing has a rating system
ReplyDeleteI've been couch surfing for a couple of years now. I have stayed with men, but not as a woman by myself. My female roommate and I stayed with a man in Chicago who had a ton of positive references. Then, my male former boss and I stayed with a man in London who had only one reference. Then, I stayed with more people- sometimes men, sometimes you, Marcia.
ReplyDeleteSo far, ALL good experiences. But I still wouldn't stay by myself with a man unless he had a long, long history of very positive references from women who stayed with him.
Couchsurfing has introduced me to so many wonderful people that I will always keep a connection with. Reading that story while I was traveling around Costa Rica broke my heart. I hope it serves as a warning to people traveling around- especially single women. But I hope it doesn't turn people off to the community just because of one incident.